Redundancy in Writing Business Letter and Examples

Redundancy in Writing Business Letter & Examples

WritingSkills.web.id - One common mistake in business writing is the use of redundant words, which is actually not needed. In fact, such redundant words even ruin the effectivity and efficiency of a business letter.

The following are several examples of redundancy in business letters:

I have received your invitation inviting me to participate in your annual Career Conference.

The word "invitation" means "to invite", so that the phrase "inviting me" is not needed. The "invitation" meaning is already clear.

Another common mistake in business writing is like the example below:

The green-coloured carpet, or
The carpet that is green in colour.

The word "green" means a colour of green, thus the word "colour" in the sentence is considered too excessive or "wordy", though it is correct in English grammar.

If we cooperate together, the project will be finished quickly.

The word "cooperate" means "to work together", so that the use of the word "together" is actually not needed. The "cooperate" meaning is already clear.

The next redundancy is if a word has already represented a meaning of several words, it is better to use only one word. See the sentences below:

Instead of:

Mr. Brian handled the job in an efficient manner.

write:

Mr. Brian handled the job efficiently.

In addition, in order to write a concise and effective business letter, it does not mean we have to delete some functional words in English grammar like articles (the, a, and an) and prepositions:

Please send order special delivery.

The deletion of the article "the" and the preposition "by" in the sentence above exactly make the order too short, ungainly, unfriendly, and even confusing. The correct sentence should be like the one below:

Please send the order by special delivery.

Comparison Between A Redundant Business Letter and An Effective Business Letter

Now, take a look at these two letters below. As you read them, you will find out that the first letter contains redundancies and wordy expressions. In the second letter, those redundancies and wordy expressions are omitted. Thus, the second letter is an effective and efficient business letter.

The first letter:

Dear Mrs. Susan:

I am very pleased with the invitation that I received from you inviting to make a speech for the National Association of Secretaries on June 11. Unfortunately, I regret that I cannot attend the meeting on June 11. I feel that I do not have sufficient time to prepare myself because I received your invitation on June 3 and it is not enough time to prepare myself completely for the speech.

Yours truly,

Helmi Fauziridwan

The second letter:

Dear Mrs. Susan:

I am very pleased with the invitation to speak to the National Association of Secretaries on June 11. Unfortunately, I cannot attend the meeting on June 11.

I feel that I will not have sufficient time to prepare myself because I received your invitation on June 3.

I will be happy to address your organization on another occasion if you would give me a bit more notice. I wish the best of luck with your meeting.

Yours truly,

Helmi Fauziridwan